You’ll have to pardon the battered status of my soapbox. Because I heft myself upon it so often, it — like me — is showing some wear and tear. Yet, a columnist must do what a columnist must do.
So, okay, I’m down with the social networking thing. I have profiles on LinkedIn and Facebook. I receive tweets via Twitter, I’m learning to love Instagram. I’ve even “periscoped”. (But I haven’t snapchatted.) Since I work on several blogs (I really need to get out more) and am wise in the ways of marketing, I know that it is a fantastic method to build business. I also grok that the internet “knows” where I go and what I like; explaining why I am inundated with banner ads hawking diet supplements and men’s weight loss programs. (One can tell they’re manly because burly athletic spokesmen yell over loud, annoying music.)
Recently an ad boasting, “the one flat-stomach rule” caught my attention. Intrigued, and desirous to know what is said “one flat-stomach rule,” I followed the link, arriving at “Melissa’s blog.” Doing well on her diet, consisting of combining a berry supplement with a “colon cleanser” (hopefully not in the blender — yich); she has posted her saga to encourage us flabby masses to join her on her quest for thinness. Being very thoughtful and warm, she only desires to help; no monetary interests drive her posts. (Yeah, right.) To back up her claims of success, the site sports several “before and after” photos.
The website address ends with “…/9”. Naturally inquisitive, I wonder what would happen if I typed in “…/8.” Guess what? Same site! One doesn’t have to be Mark Zuckerberg to realize this is a marketing campaign. I keep substituting numerals, always ending up at the same place. Fascinated by one of those “large family reality shows?” Glory be, tain’t nuttin’ compared to how many “Melissas” there are. They’re popping up like weeds!
Whilst continuing my web-surfing, I light on another page, and — lo and behold — spy an ad for “Two rules to a flat stomach” with my old buddy, Melissa in the photograph. Yet, on this announcement, she’s listed as “Sandra” — and added that pesky second imperative. What a drag. If I would have acted quicker, I could have flat abs via a solitary rule. Now, I must have two. If I don’t move rapidly, it could be three — or four.
This website, more sophisticated, ends with “…/30251.” But if I enter any number, I land on the same page (I quit at 100,000). The mental image of tens of thousands of Sandra/Melissa clones roaming our planet chock full of berry supplement and sporting empty colons is indeed disturbing.
Anyway, I digress. What began this rant was that listed on each page, it states without equivocation, “Six Tips to Lose Weight.” Posted within are suggestions such as watch portions, walk more, and consume healthier foods.
Ponder with me, please.
Should we follow the admittedly intelligent advice listed on all these pages graciously posted by Melissa/Sandra, won’t we naturally drop those extra pounds? The true “flat-stomach rule” is just being reasonable with our eating habits and taking care of ourselves, isn’t it? Why would one even need a berry/colon — or any other — supplement?
Want to mix berries, cleansers, and powders like some sort of nutritional alchemist seeking to turn fat to firm? Go for it. However, the only way to lose weight remains “calories in versus calories out.” The rest is window dressing. I’m sure even 100,000 Sandras would agree.
About the author: Scott “Q” Marcus is a nationally known weight loss expert for baby boomers and the CRP (Chief Recovering Perfectionist) of www.ThisTimeIMeanIt.com. He is available for coaching and speaking. His new book (co-written with his sister), “The Busy Baby Boomers Motivational Guide to Weight Loss” is now at BabyBoomersGuides.com.
