Parenting is filled with lessons for our children. We teach them manners, colors, how to take care of pets, counting, about saying please and thank you and dozens of other ways to help them in life. We get excited with new things that we see them learn.

But there are some other lessons we teach and we don’t even know it. Every day your child is watching you. When she sees what you are doing, she frequently incorporates those lessons that you are inadvertently teaching her.

Your child sees you and your partner and how you interact with one another. You don’t set out to teach her about this but she learns as she watches. You are teaching her that holding hands with someone you care about is special. The way you talk with your partner today is teaching her how to respect someone you love. You are teaching her how to show love and respect to her future partner.

Your child sees how you respond to your parents. Not everyone is fortunate to have an older generation but hopefully you are. She watches how you respect your aging parents. Do you visit them, care for them, help them and call them? You are giving her lessons in how to respond to you as you age.

Are you a giving person? Your child learns about giving from you. It isn’t what you tell her to do but what she sees you doing. Does she see you making a donation to United Way, Goodwill, the food bank or any other charity? Does she see you helping a neighbor who is ill or someone who just had a new baby?

How about your driving? Does she see you driving under the speed limit? Does she see you being polite toward other drivers? She may not know all the laws but some she will understand. She can see if you stop when there is a stop sign.

Another lesson you teach without saying you are teaching is to be polite to others. Are you being polite when you are in the store or waiting at the bank or when you are on the phone?

These are lessons that are being taught by you to your child.

Do you teach her about taking care of the yard or the house? You are showing your child and the world how you value your home and yard when you are pulling weeds or cleaning out cupboards.

Maybe you haven’t thought about the lessons in life you teach from weeding and cleaning but they are there.

Your child may learn about money from hearing you rant and rave about the amount the bank charged you for your overdraft. Teach her instead to be careful with money and to pay her bills on time by letting her see you take this responsibility very seriously.

If you don’t want your child to use drugs, don’t use them yourself. Be careful about your use of alcohol because you want her to learn that lesson and you are her primary teacher.

She learns far more about this subject when she watches you than what you only say to her.

You are your child’s first teacher and probably her most important teacher. Lessons are around every day that she is learning from you. She is learning the good ones and the bad ones. She is learning far more than you think she is.

Cynthia Martin is the founder of the First Teacher program and former executive director of Parenting Matters Foundation, which publishes newsletters for parents, caregivers and grandparents. Reach Martin at pmf@olypen.com.